A Chance Encounter
by Millenium Roger
Summary: Ten years ago, Sirius Black snatched Harry Potter and disappeared. In the meantime, Remus Lupin became a famous author. They meet by chance, and the world will never be the same again.  Slash RLSB, and AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! So this is the first real multi-chapter fic I have ever attempted. The entire story is written but not typed, so I promise I won't be abandoning it in the middle! It also means that I won't be changing the ending, though I might right a sequel if enough people review. Hint, hint. I'll try to update once every few days, but it depends how much typing and editing I have time for. Enjoy chapter one!**

**Also, I just wanted to shout-out to Children of Shadows, whose amazing RLSB fanfics inspired this one. If you guys haven't read Momentum yet, you are not a true Remus/Sirius shipper!**

**Warning: Slash, later.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, JK Rowling does. And this disclaimer counts for the ENTIRE STORY, capisce?**

* * *

><p>Remus Lupin sighed tiredly as he stepped from the comfort of airport air conditioning into the heat of a Philadelphia summer. It had been a long, tiring flight from England, especially with the kid behind him screaming bloody murder the entire time, and his only desire was to settle into his hotel, take a cold shower, and then fall into the clean sheets and sleep forever. He sighed again when he saw the line of beaten-up Red Top cabs. If there was one thing this city could use it was a decent fleet of taxis.<p>

Dragging his battered old trunk behind him, he knocked on the window of the first cab in line, where the driver was sleeping with a Philly's cap pulled low over his eyes. The man woke with a start and, catching sight of Lupin, hurried out of the car. Lupin opened the car door and scooted inside with a sigh of relief, leaning his head on the headrest behind him. He closed his eyes and allowed himself a small smile. The hotel was so close!

A minute later, he opened his eyes again with a frown. The cab driver still wasn't back… what was going on?

"Is there a problem?" he asked, irritation creeping into his voice as he stuck his head out of the open window. The cab driver was staring at his suitcase with a frozen look on his face. When he heard Lupin's voice he started badly and pulled the cap lower over his face.

Lupin couldn't suppress a shiver of anger as this stranger chucked his trunk unceremoniously into the boot and made his way to the driver's seat. If only this stupid cabbie knew what the battered old thing meant to him…

"Well?" said the object of his anger rudely, interrupting Lupin's thoughts. "Where to?"

Lupin looked at the driver curiously before answering. "Mariott hotel on Market Street." He could have sworn the cabbie was trying to mask a British accent. And doing a rather poor job. His curiosity was piqued. After all, he was always looking for a subject for his next book.

"So where are you from?" He asked conversationally. He leaned back contentedly when he felt his driver's glare. One got revenge however one could.

"Rule number seven. Don't distract the driver."

There it was again! Definitely a British accent, and, unless he was quite mistaken, it had the clipped syllables of wealth. The plot thickens…

Lupin wished he could get a good look at the man but his eyes were hidden by his hat, and that was all he could see in the rearview mirror. His clothes were worn and he seemed unusually thin – Lupin guessed that he was a bachelor. The hair and face were hidden from him, and the mystery only intensified his desire to see the man's eyes. Maybe if he could provoke a reaction the man would look up?

"So did your family disown you or did they just run out of money," asked Lupin a few minutes later. He saw the man twitch violently, almost sending the cab veering into another lane. For a moment the man lifted his head and they locked eyes in the rearview mirror.

Grey eyes, deep and cold, searching, hateful, and terrifyingly familiar. Lupin's mouth dropped open as he reeled, head spinning. He suddenly felt nauseous and gasped for air.

"Do I really need to answer that question?" said the driver softly, his eyes still on Lupin. The fake accent was gone and Lupin wondered how he could have gone so long without recognizing the voice. Only one person he had ever met spoke like that…

The driver broke eye contact to return his focus to the road and a moment later Lupin snapped back to reality, his mind whirring furiously to catch up to what was happening.

"When… How… Cabs? Muggles? You?" Lupin's voice was rising in spite of himself. Unable to stop, his voice grew hysterical. "Ten years! Ten years and you were _here?_ Where is he, Sirius? WHERE'S HARRY?"

"We have arrived at your destination, sir. That will be forty dollars. Have a wonderful day," said Sirius loudly, pointedly ignoring his questions. He heaved the suitcase onto the curb, grabbed the money from Lupin's befuddled hands, jumped into the cab and sped away. Lupin stayed in the gutter, watching the taxi weave in and out of traffic before disappearing around city hall.

Sirius Black had re-entered his life with a bang after ten years of silence and exited just as fast, leaving Lupin with a head full of unspoken thoughts and a phone number quickly copied from the inside of the cab.

* * *

><p>"Are you okay, Da?" asked Harry, looking up from his Froot Loops at a Sirius who was staring into the distance, his jaw clenching and unclenching. Normally, he would be teasing Harry about some girl at school, or telling him knock-knock jokes from his inexhaustible repertoire. But not today.<p>

Sirius looked down at his godson's worried face and forced a smile. "I'm fine, Harry. Now why don't you finish up your breakfast and I'll take you to camp."

Harry cheered and attacked his cereal, this time drawing a real smile from his godfather. Which faded as visions of a careworn face with graying hair and light blue eyes once again invaded his consciousness.

Lupin. What the hell was he doing in Philadelphia, why was he masquerading as a Muggle, and by what stroke of hateful fate had he gotten in Sirius' taxi? Worst of all, why hadn't Sirius kicked him out as soon as he recognized the suitcase James had given him while they were still in school?

If he were being logical, Sirius would take Harry and run far, far away to another deadbeat city. He would change their names again, repaint his taxi, and find a new apartment at the edge of an acceptable neighborhood. They had fled before and they could do it again.

But if Sirius were being honest with himself he would admit that the sight of Lupin's face after all these years was not all together unwelcome, in spite of the undeniably sour note on which they had parted. This he would never admit, and while he was being dishonest with himself and irrational, he might as well stay put. Harry liked this city so much, and for the first time he had real friends…

Watching him sing to himself as he bounced down the stairs, Sirius could almost pretend he was just like any other eleven-year-old, and not the kidnapping victim of a dangerous and potentially mentally-deranged fugitive.

"Ready, Da!" sang his little voice from the entrance. Sirius stood with a sigh and took their breakfast dishes to the sink. He smiled as he recognized Harry's song – Norwegian Woods by the Beetles. It had been one of his and James' favorites when they were young. James had even played it at his wedding and they had danced together like the carefree, drunken loons that they were. Sirius smiled broadly as he joined Harry in the closing lines, and together they skipped out of the door and into the taxi, laughing and glad to be alive.

* * *

><p>Driving down Catherine Street with Harry, windows open and singing like maniacs, Sirius completely forgot about a certain encounter. All that mattered was the here and the now and the beauty of youth and happiness. For an instant, Sirius felt it could last forever – him and Harry singing in the cab. But then he turned the corner and saw the school that housed Harry's day camp, and the weight of grim reality settled back on his sagging shoulders like a comfortable harness.<p>

He was a wanted man who could barely make ends meet, and one day he knew he'd be caught.

Then he would be sent to Azkaban. He only hoped when the day came Harry would be old enough to make his own way in the world – at least Sirius had spared him the pain of spending his formulative years in an orphanage, or worse, with Lily's horrible sister.

As Harry hopped out of the cab and ran to meet his friends without a backwards glance, Sirius' phone rang.

"Eleventh and South," said the voice, "northwest corner," and the person hung up. Sirius sighed and spun the steering wheel, lost in dark thoughts.

He drove the few blocks on autopilot, and when he realized who had placed that call, it was too late to turn back…

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think, and if you have a better idea for a title. Leave a review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here's the second chapter! Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you like this next installment! The plot thickens...**

* * *

><p>Instead of enjoying the virtues of clean sheets and a warm bath, Lupin spent his afternoon in the hotel pacing, his thoughts still spinning aimlessly. He managed to stop them at some point in the evening, but only after getting totally sloshed out of the mini bar in the hotel room.<p>

_Look how pathetic you've become,_ his cruel and ceaseless mind whispered to him even as he sat in a stupor at the large desk, carefully examining a pen. _You don't even go _out_ to drink anymore. You're just a pathetic, lonely werewolf with a penchant for penis that no one could ever love. Worthless piece of dragon dung._

Lupin could only moan in agreement and let his suddenly too-heavy head fall forth onto the official-looking desk.

It was there that he awoke eight hours later with an absolutely mind-numbing hangover. The digital alarm clock across the room blinked balefully at him as the 8:16 became an 8:17 and Lupin groaned. Book signing in an hour.

_I have _got_ to stop doing this the night before my book signings,_ he thought muddily, looking guiltily for the small vial of hangover potion he'd managed to procure during his last visit to Diagon Alley.

_If you were a good person, a brave person, you'd stop doing it at all,_ whispered a darker voice from the recesses of his mind.

"Oh, stuff it," muttered Lupin as he staggered to the bathroom to shower until the potion kicked in.

_Talking to yourself now? You ARE a pathetic waste of space,_ persisted the voice, _sometimes I think your friends are lucky to have died before they saw you sink—_ The sudden shock of cold water cut off everything, and Lupin was grateful.

* * *

><p>It was almost eleven and Lupin caught himself wondering if it was too early to hit up a bar. He had just gotten out of another one of those horrid book signings and he had two hours to kill before the next one. Then he thought about what his manager would say if he showed up slizzard and sighed in frustration. Apparently, the world was our to stop him from enjoying whatever was left of his miserable existence.<p>

He sat on South Street and aimlessly watched cars go by until the sight of a Red Top taxi suddenly reminded him o f a certain phone number shoved deep in his pocket. He had found Sirius! And fuck if he was going to let the bastard escape for a third time.

Lupin hunted down the nearest pay phone – right at the corner of Eleventh and South streets, and dialed the number he had jotted down yesterday in the cab.

* * *

><p>Lupin had to admit to a mild surprise fifteen minutes later when he recognized a certain Philly's cap behind the wheel of a Red Top cab. He saw Sirius' eyes widen in recognition as he pulled up to the corner and the light turned to red. Lupin threw himself in the cab before Sirius could lock the door, ignoring the man's growled request for him to leave.<p>

"Well this is a fine place for a family reunion, Sirius m'dear. Or should I say –" he peered at the license on the dashboard "—Steven Brown? What's your son's name, Steven? Or is he even alive anymore?"

"You… bastard…" choked out Sirius, his fingers white on the steering wheel. Lupin guessed that the only thing keeping those fingers off of his throat was the light, which had just turned green. "You utter bastard… How could you… How DARE you insinuate that I would so much as TOUCH a hair on his head…"

"Well family bonds didn't stop you offing his parents now, did it, Siri? Or little Peter Pettigrew, hm? Remember him?"

Sirius jerked the steering wheel and Remus vaguely realized that they were in a different and not so charming part of the city.

_You should probably stop now,_ said the voice of reason inside his head, but Lupin was too drunk on vengeance and the peculiar feeling of being alive to do more than laugh bitterly.

"I guess you went after Harry because you wanted the full set. Or were you hoping to bring back Volde—" Lupin lurched forward as Sirius slammed on the brakes, and a moment later he was being smashed up against a window, pinned down by long fingers encircling his neck. He struggled as he began to see starts, but stopped suddenly when he felt a warm breath in his ear.

"Look around you Lupin," said Sirius in a terrifyingly quiet calm, "we're not in a good neighborhood. I could murder you now and no one would find your body for days. Whatever witnesses there are would never go to the police – you'd just be the latest on a long list of unsolved murders.

"Now I'm not going to bother explaining my actions to you, nor will I bother sorting out what I did or didn't do. You ignorant piece of shit. I know where you live, Lupin, and where you're staying. Just think about that before you report my whereabouts to your precious Minister of Magic. Since I'm a cold-blooded killer."

He sneered at those last words and released Lupin roughly. The man slumped against the side of the taxi and gasped for air, massaging his neck.

"Won't… report…" he managed to choke out, "no… longer… wizard…"

He saw Sirius frown and open his mouth to ask a question when a phone started ringing. He glared warningly at Lupin before he answered.

"Hello? Ah, Miss Robinson! Can I help you with any—What? There's been a prob-? I'll be right there. Please calm down, I'm on my way!" Sirius slammed his cellphone and glared at Lupin again.

"You have two and a half seconds to get in the back seat or get the hell out of my car," he snarled.

One quick peek at the rundown alley they were parked in sent Lupin scrambling over the seat and into the back of the car. A moment later, Sirius was off, screeching through the dirty streets of South Philadelphia as if the devil were after him.

"I'll hear your story later," said Sirius as he took a sharp left down a one-way street, almost taking out a fire hydrant. "It had better be damn good."

"But… I have a book signing in an hour. What will my manager say?"

Sirius answered with a look of utmost contempt that told him exactly where he could put his book signing and his manager. Upon further reflection, Lupin decided that he much preferred hurtling through the streets with an insane mass-murderer to spending another two hours smiling painfully at fangirls.

He had hardly finished this reflection when the taxi screeched to a halt again and Sirius bounded out. He was halfway up the stairs to what appeared to be a school when he turned around and ran back to the taxi. He yanked open the glove compartment and in one smooth motion pulled out a pair of handcuffs, fastened one end around Lupin's wrist, and secured the other to the door handle.

Lupin watched him disappear into the school and cursed.

At least he had some freedom within the car, he thought after a few minutes had passed without Sirius reappearing. Lupin set himself to work examining everything within reach for a clue as to the true nature of the man who had once been his best friend.

In the back seat he didn't find much – a couple of brightly colored chewing gum wrappers and a muddy business card belonging to an Alan Growdy. Under the passenger seat he found a torn and dirty piece of math homework. The name was illegible but the grade was not – 20/20.

In between the two front seats he found a slew of old cassette tapes – mostly Beetles but there was a Cat Stevens tape too. He also found a dog-eared copy of one of his novels in there – the story of a gay man who falls in love with his best friend and must watch silently as the man spirals into depression and womanizing before committing suicide. Lupin considered it one of his best, and certainly the closest to his heart.

By straining a little, Lupin could reach the sun protector above the driver's seat. He knocked it open and out tumbled a collection of brightly colored birthday cards. Lupin seized the nearest one and looked at it curiously. On the cover was a crude rendition of a man and a boy holding hands in front of a house, with a black dog under their feet. "Happy Birthday" was carefully traced across the top in poorly-written block letters. Lupin smiled and opened the card. He nearly dropped it when he saw what was written inside –

_Dear Da,_

_Happy Birthday! I wish we didn't have to move but I drew our old house so you can always remember it. I think we will like Filadelfya. But you always say home is wherever we are together. I love you very very much._

_Love,  
>Harry<em>

Lupin gaped for a minute and turned the paper over, half-expecting to find some sign that it was a fraud. But there was none – it was as innocent birthday card, slightly yellow with age and worn at the corners from many perusals.

Lupin was still pondering the meaning when he heard footsteps approaching – Sirius! He fumbled with the card and tried to cram the fallen papers back into the sun blocker – an exercise in futility. Some had fallen to the floor, far beyond his reach. He shut his eyes and cowered for all he was worth – survival trumped dignity any day.

He heard the car door open.

"Lupin!" barked Sirius. Lupin dared a peek and saw Sirius staring at him murderously. "Felt like having a look through my private things? Where you hoping to find proof of my murderous deeds?"

"Da? Who is that man?" came a small voice from behind Sirius. Lupin's eyes flew open. Could it be—

Sirius' entire body softened as he pulled the small boy into a hug.

"Don't worry about it Harry," he said gently, "this…_man_… is no more than a dog. You can call him… Mr. Snuffles."

Right then, Remus Lupin hated Sirius more than ever before.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for the positive reviews! Sorry about the glaring spelling mistake in the first chapter. And sorry that this chapter took so long to post. I was away from my computer for a few days. But I'll make sure that the next one goes up EXTRA quick. Enjoy the latest chapter!**

* * *

><p>Sirius' conscience (who he had begun calling Lily out of sheer loneliness and the damn thing had developed her personality with frightening speed and accuracy) complained for a moment when he saw the look of heartbreak on Lupin's face, but the look of hatred that replaced it snuffed her out. That damn nosy son-of-a-bitch! Sirius would have to keep him now, wouldn't he? At least until he thought of a good way to prevent him from blabbing…<p>

Sirius barely registered Harry climbing happily into the cab and gave rote answers as Harry chattered on about his day. His mind was running at a million miles an hour – for now he needed to sit down and talk to Lupin, figure out if he could be trusted to keep their secret. Those last words about not being a wizard anymore had seemed promising. If not, well… Sirius would find out if he was able to stomach killing one of his best friends.

Sudden inspiration.

"Harry?" he asked, cutting through the happy jabber, "since you left day camp early today, I'm going to give you some homework, okay? Now don't complain, young man! I think you'll like it. I want you to spend the afternoon at the Franklin Institute. Find your favorite exhibit and take careful notes – I want you to give us an oral presentation after dinner about everything you learned. I'll pick you up right here at five, okay? Here's our membership card and some lunch money – remember not to have too much fun!"

He chuckled as Harry cheered and pocketed the money eagerly. He placed a quick peck on his surrogate father's cheek before flinging open the door and bounding up the marble steps.

Sirius watched him with a faint smile until the unruly mop of black hair vanished from sight. Then with a sigh he turned to Lupin, his face hardening once more.

"Now I deal with you…"

* * *

><p>"This meal's on you," said Sirius as the waiter in the little white hat approached with chili dogs and cheese fries. Lupin grimaced as the hot mess of grease was placed in front of him, but nodded nonetheless.<p>

Sirius and Lupin were seated across from each other at the Johnny Rocket's on South and Fifth. The short drive from Logan Circle had been tense for both men, but the arrival of food gave them something to do. Lupin moved beans around his plate and picked at the fries while Sirius went at his food with gusto, tearing off huge chunks of hot dog and swallowing them after only a few chews.

Sirius smiled to himself as he saw Lupin's faint look of disgust – the look of a man who had never known hunger.

_Might as well give him something to look disgusted about,_ said Sirius' inner voice of mischief (aptly named James) and Sirius leaned back with a huge belch and wiped his greasy mouth on his sleeve.

"Much better," he said as the smelly burp hung in the air. He laughed inwardly at Lupin's look of horror.

"Now. I believe you owe me a story." He gave Lupin a skeptical look he knew would annoy him. James approved.

"I don't owe you—" snapped Lupin before he paused. Sirius could see the cogs of his brain turning (will he/won't he kill me?) and then Remus continued in a much calmer tone.

"I'll tell you my story, Sirius. But I want two things in return—" he ignored Sirius' derisive snort "—Yes, two things. First, I want to hear your story, in its entirety. Second, I want to be able to talk to Harry. I want him to know me and who I am, not… Mr. Snuffles." Lupin couldn't keep his voice from cracking. He looked away for a second to compose himself before extending his hand to Sirius.

"Deal?"

Sirius barked a short, derisive laugh. "You're in no position to be cutting deals, Lupin. I'll consider your terms after I've heard your story."

"If you agree I swear on my life not to tell the Ministry or anyone else about you and Harry."

Suddenly the front of Lupin's shirt was balled up in Sirius' fist and he was being pulled across the table, close to Sirius' face. He winced as the smell of grease and fake cheese hit his nose.

"You breathe one word of this to anyone and I swear on _my_ life that I'll live up to my reputation."

Lupin was released a moment later but was pleased to see that Sirius looked rattled at least. He decided not to push the man's buttons any farther and began his story.

"You'll remember that during the war I used to vanish for about a week around the full moon? I never told anyone what I was up to – only Dumbledore knew. In fact, if I remember rightly you suspected me of being a traitor and nearly stopped talking to me all together. I don't want to hear it Sirius – not now.

"Anyway, those were the weeks I spent with the werewolf packs, trying to convince them before Voldemort could that our side was the right one and that we would help them, yada yada yada… most of it was futile, of course, but I was able to bring a few to our side.

"The night that Lily and James died was a full and I was running around in Scotland with a pack I'd been working with for a few months. I was having some success so I didn't return to my flat until four days later. Within fifteen seconds of apparating there I was surrounded by an Auror squad, armed to the teeth and prepared to bring me in dead or alive.

"They must have been so confused when I came quietly, docile and obedient as an old dog to the slaughter. I thought it was a misunderstanding – I hadn't heard about Lily and James, or about you – and I figured Dumbledore would sort it out. I was such a naïve fool!

"It was ten days before I was allowed to speak to Dumbledore – ten days of finding out piece by piece that those who I had considered family were all dead or on the run, ten days of torture with silver and the Cruciatus curse, ten days of loneliness and insecurity. When Dumbledore finally found me after ten days I was more beast than human, more mad than sane. He told me he would do everything he could to get me free but I begged him not to tell them about the Scottish werewolves. They were unregistered, you see – if the Ministry caught them they would all be killed, and I couldn't bear to let anything happen to the friends I had made.

"My trial – if it could be called that – was short and quick. Dumbledore did his best to vouch for me, to tell them I had no part in the crime, but the Wizengamot was out for blood. They suspected me, you see, because of my friendship with you and because of my furry little problem, and when I was unable to provide a compelling alibi the deal was sealed. Some members of the Wizengamot wanted me executed on the spot; others wanted to give me life in Azkaban. That was where having Dumbledore on my side really saved my skin. He was able to convince the others to mitigate my sentence, and I was merely banished from the Wizarding world.

"Merely banished! As if being forced to abandon the only world I had ever known was something to celebrate! At times I thought I might prefer death. When they snapped my wand, I almost did.

"I was fortunate enough to have inherited my family's cottage and a decent amount of money so I wasn't entirely broke. But I was alone, Sirius, so alone! More alone than you can possible imagine. And there were demons lurking everywhere – the deaths of Lily and James, your betrayal, the murders you committed in cold blood… and the fate of little Harry. I used to spend hours and hours – entire nights—pacing the study, tormenting myself about Harry's fate. Was he dead? Imprisoned? Forced to work in some sort of horrible magical sweatshop? And I was utterly powerless.

"It was during one of these interminable dark nights that I began to write. It was the only thing that kept me sane, so I went crazy for it. I used to write for days without stopping until exhaustion forced me to sleep until I had enough energy to hold the pen again. And I suppose it was good, what I wrote – good enough that when I sent a writing sample to one of the Muggle literary journals they asked for more. Soon I had a monthly column and a healthy following. Then about five years ago I made the jump from short stories to novels. Since then I've been climbing the steps to literary fame, one by one.

"I hate it sometimes – the speeches, the book signings, the fake smiles and fawning fans – but I can never stop. The demons are still there, and if I stop writing they'll come and take my sanity…"

* * *

><p>Lupin heaved a huge sigh and took a long drink of water from his shaking hands before leaning back wearily.<p>

"So that's my story. Pathetic, innit? I'm here on a promotional tour signing books and generally parading myself around like a bloody fool when I happen to run into you. And I'm thinking that I might be able to put some demons to rest if I can find out what really happened to Lily and James. So how about it?"

Throughout Lupin's story, Sirius had forced himself to remain impassive while Lily berated him shrilly in his head. It was, to be sure, a depressing tale, and Lily was telling him now to _help your old friend and tell him your damn st—_

"Not bloody likely!" he spat with a harsh laugh, trying hard to ignore the deadened look creeping back into Lupin's eyes as the spark of hope faded. "I'm not ready to trust you with my life, much less with Harry's. You could still be in league with, or at least in contact with, the Ministry. Which is why I'm not letting you leave yet either,"and then before he could protest, Lily won out and he heard himself say, "but you can talk to Harry. Only when I'm there, mind, and don't go prying into his past. But he could do with some more stories about his Dad. Mine have all been worn just about threadbare. Just don't mention the rat… Or else!"


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry for how late this is! I got busy with school. But this story is NOT going to be abandoned (the whole thing is written, what's the point in abandoning it?) so keep on reading and reviewing! Thanks for your patience, and I hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

><p>Lupin felt his heart lighten with every passing block. Finally he would get to speak to Harry! Finally he would be able to tell him who he was, tell him about the adventures he had shared with his father. He could teach Harry long division and his multiplication tables; teach him how to make world-famous Lupin banana bread. They could read stories together and maybe – if he was lucky – Harry would draw him a picture.<p>

Lupin had been dreaming of this for ten years – at least he'd dreamed of it on those rare occasions he'd allowed himself the pain of hope.

Caught up in happy thoughts, he barely registered the fact that Sirius had pulled over a block from the Franklin Institute and was giving him and impenetrable stare.

"I don't trust you Lupin," Sirius growled before Lupin could ask the question on his lips, "just remember that. Now get in the back."

Lupin scrambled to obey and no sooner was the back door closed than Sirius was driving away again. A minute later they were in front of the Franklin Institute and a little head of messy black hair was rapidly bobbing towards them.

"Da!" cried Harry, throwing himself across the passenger seat and wrapping his arms around Sirius. Sirius held him with one arm, a soft smile lighting up his face, and nudged him back to his seat.

Lupin's stomach gave a nervous jolt as he saw Sirius' give him a purposeful look before turning back to Harry.

"Now Harry," he began slowly, "that man in the back seat is an old friend of your Dad's. His name is Mr. Lupin and he's going to be stayingwith us for a while. Be nice to him, Harry, but remember our rules! Don't answer any questions about the past."

Lupin's heart seized for a moment as Harry looked at him curiously, then resumed three times faster when a torrent of questions began gushing from the little boy's mouth.

"Where are you from? How did you know my Dad? How did you find us? Was he as wonderful as Da says he was? What's your job?"

Sirius shook his head and Lupin hear him mutter _kid's too friendly for his own good_ as he tried to hold back a smile.

This made Lupin smile himself and he turned back to Harry, praying that his voice wouldb't crack as he spoke to his best friend's son for the frist time in ten years.

"Hello, Harry. You can call me Remus. I'll answer all of your questions in good time, but first I want to say that I met your Dad in school and he was absolutely_ wonderful_."

* * *

><p>Lupin's inner wolf growled in revolt as he poked at the pile of soggy greens that might have been vegetables in a previous incarnation. Or at least before Sirius took them to his torture dungeon (mistakenly referred to as a kitchen) and boiled the ever-living shit out of them. Lupin prodded what seemed to be a broccoli stem, only to see it disintegrate into several strands of unidentifiable green mush.<p>

"What did Sirius say this stuff was called?" he asked Harry in an undertone while Sirius was in his dungeon, presumably raping another vegetal life form.

"Mixed greens," Harry whispered back, "he says its good for me. But I think it tasts pretty bad. If you hide it in your pocket you can chuck it out the window later when he's not looking."

_No wonder he's so skinny,_ thought Lupin as he watched Harry lift clumps of gloop carefully from his plate and slip them into the pocket of his shorts, _Sirius' cooking hasn't improved at all in ten years._

"Sirius," said Lupin delicately over the small bowl of peaches Sirius had scooped from the can, "since you're been so kind as to host me here, why don't I make dinner tomorrow night? It's the least I can do."

Lupin surprise a look of utter relief on Sirius' face before he shut down again and mumbled what Lupin assumed to be "sure". Harry's look of gratitude was not so hidden nor so strained. He flashed Lupin a thumbs up before excusing himself – doubtlessly, Lupin thought, in order to dump his soggy greens into the window box in the next room.

"Wait! Harry, come back!" called Sirius suddenly. Harry's head poked around the corner, his face apprehensive.

"Ye-eah?" he said slowly.

"Aren't you forgetting something? Your presentation, Harry-man! Teach Mr. Lupin and me everything you learned at the Franklin Institute today."

Harry walked slowly back into the kitchen, looking for all the world like calf on his way to be slaughtered. He looked at Sirius, his eyes full of suffering. To Lupin's astonishment, Sirius laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Try that on our guest, he's not used to your puppy eyes yet! But you're not getting out of this one, little man! Let's hear what you learned."

Harry shot Lupin a pained glance before hehunched his shoulders and stuck his hands in his pockets. Lupin thought he heard a faint squelch, and Harry immediately removed his hand from his pocket and wiped it hastily on his shirt.

"Well," he started mumbling to the floor, "the exhibit was about the history of explosions. It started with the Chinese, you know, cuz they invented gunpowder and stuff. But they used it for fireworks! Well, actually they used it for guns too, but still. Fireworks! Can we buy fireworks, Da?

"Fine, fine, I was only kidding anyway. So Chinese had guns and fireworks, and then the Arabs in the Middle East got em' and then they got to Europe. That's the first record of bombs. There were these troops in England and France called grenadines that used hand grenades, but I don't think they were all that powerful.

"Then the exhibit talked about bombs being dropped from planes in World War one, and then the atomic bomb in World War two, and then the hydrogen bomb. It was crazy stuff, Da! They blew up an entire island! They had all these pictures of dead goats and stuff… oh, and this one picture of a Japanese city that got blown up and there was literally _nothing left_. Except I already knew that picture because it was in my history book.

"Then there was this section on terrorism and car bombs and stuff. Oh! They talked about England in one of the parts! It made me think of us cuz, you know, we're English and all that. Or at least you are. But there was this big explosion in England like ten years ago and they still don't know who did it or what they used, but the exhibit says that it's a deadlier kind of bomb than ever seen because there's no way of detecting it…"

Lupin's mind had frozen in shock, the words falling innocently from Harry's mouth still roaring in his ears. Was it possible that Sirius had never mentioned… _How could he do that to Harry Potter?_

He looked over at the man sitting across the table and saw the same blank look of shock. Lupin was about to open his mouth and berate Sirius for keeping Harry in the dark, until Sirius caught his stare and started.

"Great job, Harry, great job! I'll bring you back a special treat tomorrow. Now why don't you hurry up and get ready for bed, I'll come read you your bedtime story in a minute."

Lupin saw Harry breathe a sigh of relief and then run up the stairs, his hand carefully covering a growing green stain on the front of his shorts. He turned his attention to Sirius, sharp words of reproach still stinging on the tip of his tongue. The look of pain etched on the man's face as he contemplated the table cloth shocked the words right down his throat, and without a word Lupin, too, left the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"Shit! Sirius, my agent!" cried Lupin as he was getting ready for bed.<p>

"What about him?" grunted Sirius from the kitchen, where he was doing dishes. He was about to read Harry his bed time story and was clearly unhappy about the interruption.

"He expected me at a book signing at one and I never showed up! Shit, shit, shit! He's going to be _furious_…"

…_and take away my carte blanche at the hotel bar, _added Lupin in his thoughts.

"I have to call him. Do you mind if I use your phone?"

Sirius tossed him his cell phone and started up the stairs. "Remember to dial star sixty seven before the number. It shows up "unknown" on the caller ID," he called over his shoulder.

Lupin didn't have to wait long before his manager's irritated voice replaced the buzz of the dial tone.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Avery! Thank goodness…"

"Lupin! Where the HELL have you been? I was getting worried… I was going to call the damn police! I was actually going to cancel your appointments for tomorrow! Do you know how much money I would have lost? Jesus Christ, Lupin…"

"I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Avery. But something came up. I have an old friend, you see…"

Avery laughed harshly. "You have many old friends, Lupin. Who was it this time? Whiskey? Rum? Bad scotch?"

"No, I promise! One of my old friends has a son… who hurt his… ankle! Yeah! And I had to watch the daughter while they were in the hospital. B-But it turns out the boy is going to need – ahh – reconstructive surgery in… Boston! Yes, Harvard medical school. So I'm going to be here at least a week. Maybe longer. Probably longer…"

"Alright, Lupin. Tell me what's really going on." Avery's voice had lost its bluster and he now sounded cold and calculating. This new side of the man was slightly terrifying.

"That's the truth, Mr. Avery, I promise!" he said, his voice rising an octave, "but I have to go! Claude…ette… is calling me. And don't bother calling my cell it doesn't get reception. Goodbye, Mr. Avery!"

Lupin slammed his thumb on the "end call" button and dropped the phone like a hot potato. He sighed and put his head in his hands. Well that was a…

"Botched job if I ever saw one," came Sirius' voice as he descended the stairs. There was a broad smile on his face and Lupin couldn't get over how much younger he looked.

"I know…" he groaned, letting his head fall back onto the couch.

"You were always the worst liar," said Sirius airily, sitting down on the other end of the couch. "Your voice shakes too much and you stammer. Plus your stories are so outrageous! Reconstructive surgery at Harvard med for a hurt ankle?" Sirius laughed, a clear, unguarded sound that reminded Lupin of all of his school days. He smiled at the memories that fluttered from the back of his mind.

Lupin stifled a yawn –poorly – and Sirius sobered immediately.

"I'm sorry, you must be tired. I always watch tv before sleeping why don't you take the bed tonight and I'll sleep here. It's quite a comfortable couch. Nice and…springy…"

Lupin blinked in surprise – what had happened to the silent, sullen Sirius Black he had been trying to decipher all day?

Sirius must have sensed his confusion because he attempted a reassuring smile and lifted a hand as if to place it on Lupin's shoulder. Halfway up he seemed to changed his mind and the hand dropped awkwardly between them. They both stared at the guilty member as the silence stretched uncomfortably long.

"Well… er… good night," said Lupin tentatively, backing slowly out of the room, "and thank you, Sirius."

"Good night!" said Sirius a bit too loudly, with an unnatural grin, "Sleep well!"

Lupin shook his head in resignation and plodded up the stairs to Sirius' room. It had been a long day, and he was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Why IS Sirius acting so differently at the end of the chapter? It's not totally OOC, read the next chapter (which will be up!) and find out!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius was pensive as he watched Lupin drag his feet wearily up the stairs. Something had happened earlier while he'd been eavesdropping on the conversation with Avery.

He'd been expecting Lupin to be contacting the Ministry of Magic or some Muggle authority to give him in, and for the first time in years he's had his wand at the ready. But as he'd listened to Lupin muddle through his half-baked excuses he had tried so hard to stifle his laughter. Hearing the man stammer and grasp for words, gesturing impressively even when on the phone, had brought back memories of the thousand and one times they had done this at school.

Granted, Lupin hadn't done much of the story making. After the incident with the bowtruckles in the suits of armor that had earned them a week in detention, they had learned not to let Lupin make the alibis.

But the memory of spinning webs of lies under pressure, presenting a beautifully wrapped story and watching a professor swallow it whole, now THOSE were the days. He and James had become master story tellers, and it felt sometimes like each near miss, each new fib brought them closer together.

Yet thinking back on it now, Sirius felt slightly uneasy – where had Lupin figured in all this? He was not really one for pranks, as he admitted during their third year. He and Sirius had once been very close – not as close as Sirius and James but best friends nonetheless. When Sirius needed advice of an intelligent sort, he would crawl into Lupin's bed after the others had fallen asleep and they would talk into the wee hours of the morning.

This wonderful closeness had lasted until part-way through sixth year. Suddenly, and without any warning, Lupin began keeping a distance from Sirius. He stopped asking him for help, and when Sirius would go to his bed in the middle of the night, he would pretend to be sleeping.

Then the Incident had happened, and Lupin had good reason to hate him forever. They had made up over the summer but their closeness had never returned – Sirius felt that Lupin was uneasy around him, and he found it easier to keep a distance than to try and break through the boy's complicated reasoning.

_Maybe that's why I'm having so much trouble trusting him,_ thought Sirius as he rolled off the couch and started up the stairs.

_It might also have something to do with him thinking you're a friggin MASS MURDERER, _added James drily.

_Well, I think you're being too hard on him, Sirius, _said Lily reproachfully. _Tell him what happened. He'll understand._

Sirius rummaged around the linen closet until he found the sleeping bag and spare pillow he was looking for. He unrolled the sleeping bag in front of Harry's door and lay down on top of it – the night was too warm to sleep inside.

_Don't tempt me, woman,_ said Sirius in his head, _I want nothing more than to finally talk to someone, to tell the truth! But I have to think of Harry first. Whoever I decide to tell has to be absolutely trustworthy._

_You were best friends in school! _Exclaimed Lily, growing impatient. _How much more trustworthy can you get?_

_The Rat was my "best friend in school" too, _replied Sirius darkly, _and look how that turned out. Now be quiet. You're making me feel like a nutcase and I want to sleep._

Before they could answer he turned onto his side and shut his eyes resolutely. But sleep was long in coming.

Sirius woke the next day with a crick in his neck and the delicious smell of hot breakfast in his nose. He stretched and followed his nose down the stairs and to the kitchen, where he found Lupin making French toast. He smiled broadly when he saw Sirius.

"Good morning!" he sang, placing a plate of French toast on the table. "I got up early this morning and got fresh strawberries and cream at the mini-mart on the corner – help yourself! I'll go wake Harry."

Sirius watched blearily as Lupin left the kitchen almost dancing and glanced at his watch. Ten of bloody seven. Practically the witching hour. He'd forgotten that Lupin was such a morning person. It irked him.

By the time Harry came down, in much the same sorry state as his godfather, Sirius was washing down the rest of the French toast with strong black coffee. He smiled when he saw the messy head of black hair drooping over the mound of French toast.

"Harry!" he said, clapping the boy on the shoulder and laughing as he started violently. "Wake up, kiddo! What do you say to Mr. Lupin? Good! Now, what do you want to do today? I have to go to work, but Mr. Lupin will be here to look after you. Maybe you could give him a tour of historic Philadelphia? If you can both be ready in ten minutes I'll drop you off in the old town on my way to the train station."

Lupin was already ready so he hustled Harry up the stairs to get ready. Exactly ten minutes later they were all (relatively) clean, dressed, and heading into center city.

"Oh, Sirius!" cried Lupin as they drew close to Independence Mall. "I completely forgot! Would you mind terribly getting my suitcase if you stop by the Mariott? Here's my key, I wrote up this letter…" he looked embarrassed "I would go but I'm terrified of running into my manager when I'm supposed to be in Boston."

Sirius took the proferred letter and nodded grudgingly before turning to Harry.

"We're here, superman! Now be good for Mr. Lupin, okay? Teach him everything you've learned about this city. I love you. See you tonight!"

Sirius drove away but he couldn't resist peeking at them in the rearview mirror. Harry was holding Lupin's hand and chatting up a storm. Lupin looked like he was in seventh heaven, his eyes glassy with joy as he nodded along with what Harry was saying.

_That kid is just too trusting,_ he thought as he started his first lap around the block. Once they entered Independence Hall, after Sirius third lap around the block, he accepted that Lupin didn't – for the moment – have any bad intentions today. Lily cheered.

At one o'clock, after a rather slow morning, Sirius decided to stop by the Mariott as Lupin had asked. As much as he disliked being a delivery boy, he was thankful enough for the breakfast that he didn't terribly mind doing this favor for the man. Besides, it was a good opportunity to inspect his things for anything suspicious.

Sirius pulled the taxi into the back of the waiting line and put on his hazards. He tried to walk casually through the lobby but was almost immediately noticed.

"Can I help you, sir!" One of the receptionists practically shouted at him.

"Ah yes… I am here to collect the affairs of one Remus Lupin? I have a letter from him affirming that I'm here on his behalf."

Sirius handed over the letter and waited patiently as the woman read it over once, twice… He saw her look him over too, taking in his worn jeans and leather jacket.

"Room six fifteen," she said finally, handing over the key.

Sirius thanked her and called the elevator. A short ride later and down the hallway he found Remus' room. Sirius had expected orderliness and cleanliness – the man seemed to exude it – but instead Lupin's things were flung all about the room. Sirius grumbled to himself about people changing over time and began throwing clothes and books into the battered old trunk, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. He noticed that there were a good number of RL Jessup novels and made a mental note to talk to Lupin about them; Jessup was one of his favorite authors. There were several empty bottles of alcohol, which Sirius disregarded, and what appeared to be empty potions flasks littering the bathroom floor.

In twenty minutes everything was packed and he sat for a moment on the bed, tracing with his fingers the faded letters on Lupin's trunk.

_Professor RJ Lupin_.

It had seemed like such a wonderful Christmas present all those years ago when James had mentioned it. A small joke for their bookish friend who spent more time at Flourish and Blotts than The Three Broomsticks. It would turn out to be cruel irony, Sirius remembered, as his applications for teaching positions across the country were rejected for the sole reason that he was a werewolf. Sirius remembered watching his friend draw further and further within himself.

But Sirius had his own problems then, from his delinquent brother to the war raging around them, and he didn't have time to spend all day comforting his friend. Or so he had told Lily – the real, flesh-and-blood one, not the name he had given to his conscience.

_Everyone had a lot to worry about, _the latter interrupted now, _but that's not an excuse. You abandoned him. And now you have a chance to make things right, and you're fine letting it slip by._

Sirius sighed and closed his eyes, preparing for a long debate with his conscience… which never came. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

Before he could move, the door flew open and a short, balding man pushed his way into the room. He looked vaguely familiar but Sirius couldn't pin him – probably just a former customer.

"Who the hell are you?" the man spluttered angrily.

"Steven Brown," Sirius said in his best American accent. He was quite proud of it, really. "Mr. Lupin sent me here. I'm to ship he things to Boston today."

"Mr. Brown, eh?" Sirius saw something less than pleasant flash in the man's eyes. "Let me see some ID."

Sirius handed him his driver's license and the man looked at it closely for almost a minute before giving it back to Sirius.

"Well, Mr. Brown, if you see Mr. Lupin again, tell him his manager is not very happy with him. Now I'm sure you have _family_ to get home to so I won't hold you any longer. Good-bye." And Mr. Avery left the room, but not before Sirius caught the calculating look in his eyes.

Once alone, he shivered. No wonder Lupin was terrified of the man! He made Sirius feel distinctly uneasy. Sirius stood for a moment longer before shrugging his shoulders and leaving, carrying the heavy trunk on his shoulder.

Sirius pulled into his driveway three minutes after seven, tired but well-remunerated, and was accosted by a flying bundle of black hair and sticky hands as soon as he stepped out of the car.

"Da! Da, guess what me and Mr. Remus did today?" Harry nearly shouted, his arms wrapped around Sirius' neck, bony elbows digging into his back.

"What did you do?" replied Sirius with a smile, hugging him close and planting a small kiss in his godson's slightly damp hair. Gods, how he had missed Harry, even for the length of a workday.

"Guess!"

"Um… you read a story?"

"No!"

"You… drew a picture together?" Sirius continued guessing as he walked up the driveway. Harry was no longer light enough to carry, but Sirius accepted to give him a piggy back ride while he dragged Lupin's trunk behind him.

"No!" Sirius winced as Harry practically shouted into his ear.

"You had lunch downtown?"

"N—well, yeah, but come see!" He jumped down from Sirius back and pulled him inside.

"I can take that!" cried Lupin when he saw a red-faced Sirius carrying his trunk over the threshold. "Besides, I think Harry wants to show you something. And thank you so much for getting my trunk." He disappeared up the stairs.

"Da!" said Harry impatiently, tugging at his sleeve. Sirius followed him into the kitchen where he beheld…

"Mr. Remus says it's world-famous banana bread. World-famous! And I helped him make it! Da, we put TWO WHOLE BAGS of chocolate chips in it!" Harry's eyes bulged at the thought of so much chocolate.

Sirius laughed. He hadn't had world-famous Lupin banana bread in ages, but he couldn't forget the moist chunks of dough held together by pools of semi-melted chocolate. His mouth began to water in spite of himself.

"AND Mr. Remus made dinner!" said Harry as proudly as if he'd done it himself, pointing to a pot of stew on the stove. Sirius peeked inside and was almost bowled over by how delicious it smelled.

"Boeuf bourgignon," explained Lupin from the doorway. "For my first few months as a Muggle I worked in a French bistro. I picked up a few neat recipes, including this one."

"Well… I mean, it smells delicious…" Sirius hesitated and decided he couldn't wait any longer. "When can we eat?"

Lupin and Harry broke into peals of laughter and Lupin managed to gasp out, "Now… you silly man… we've been waiting for you…"

"Mr. Remus bet me you'd say that s soon as you saw what he made!" laughed Harry, "he said that at school you were always the first one at dinner!"

Sirius smiled. "Well, then, let's eat!"

An hour later, Sirius couldn't remember the last time he'd been so full. The stew had been delicious, as well as the salad that followed, and, of course, the banana bread.

The conversation had been good too; Lupin and Sirius swapped ever more outrageous stories of their exploits during school, to Harry's delight. Lupin was just reaching the conclusion of one, in fact –

"…and then Mulciber stands up, his hair long, blond, and curly, wearing a blue dress and a frilly apron, and he says… he says… 'Why is everyone laughing?'" Lupin and Sirius dissolved into peals of laughter.

"Don't forget the bit where James went up to him and asked him on a date!" gasped Sirius, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "Remember how fast he ran away? And when Mulciber tried to chase him down he got caught in his skirt and tripped… and then he was lying there like a beached whale, legs kicking in the air, screaming obscenities…"

Sirius was laughing so hard his sides hurt, and when he began to have trouble breathing he tried to take a few deep breaths and calm down…

…only to find that he couldn't. He met Lupin's eye and saw that the man had come to the same realization as him. He was starting to really panic, he laughs coming increasingly desperately as he struggled for air. Harry was still laughing normally – maybe he didn't realize he was choking…

And then the reason hit him.

"Harry…" he managed to choke out between waves of forced laughter, "stop…"

Harry must have heard the desperate note in his godfather's voice because he immediately stopped laughing and looked at him anxiously.

As soon as the boy stopped laughing, Sirius and Lupin were able to breathe normally again. They gasped gratefully for air.

"Bed time, Harry," managed Sirius. His godson looked at him worriedly.

"Da, what hap—"

"Bed! I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in."

Harry ran out of the room. Sirius sat for a moment, willing his heartbeat to return to normal and waiting for his legs to stop shaking. He stood to follow, but felt a restraining hand on his arm. Turning, he found himself looking straight into Lupin's piercing blue eyes.

"We need to talk, Sirius."


	6. Chapter 6

Lupin fiddled nervously with the tablecloth as he waited for Sirius to come downstairs. He had been deeply shaken by Harry's wild magic, but even more disturbed by Sirius' reaction. In an instant he had put two and two together, and he knew the man wouldn't like what he had to say.

Lupin stood up restlessly and poured himself a glass of wine from what was left of the bottle he'd used for the stew. He drank it too fast and poured another one.

By the time Sirius came downstairs he was on his fourth glass and had opened a new bottle.

"Wine?" offered Lupin. Sirius merely shook his head and sat down at the kitchen table, staring at Lupin. Unnerved, he quickly finished his glad and poured another.

"It's Burgundy. Quite good…"

"You wanted to talk."

"Ah, yes! You see, Sirius, I've been thinking about Harry's situation and you know, he's not a muggle." Lupin sat up straighter, his sense of purpose renewed and his courage bolstered by another glass of wine.

"Of course I know," said Sirius coldly as he watched the red liquid disappear rapidly. "How much have you drunk?"

"Not important," Lupin replied with a wave of his hand, "but Harry, Harry is going to be eleven soon, you know? And that's when everyone gets their Hogwarts letters. But what's Harry going to do, Sirus? Hogwarts doesn't know where he is. They can't send him a letter. What're you going to do, Sirius?"

Sirius stood up with a scowl.

"You've obviously had too much to drink. Sober up and we'll talk about this like men." He made a move to leave, but Lupin grabbed him by the arm, holding him back. He stood, thrilled by his own boldness.

"No! You can't force James and Lily's son to live as a muggle! You've chosen this life but Harry hasn't! Unless he gets magical education he'll never control it and you'll both die! Is that what you want? Murderer?"

Lupin was vaguely aware that his voice was too loud, but he didn't care. Everything was becoming clearer and clearer… Sirius didn't want what was best for Harry at all! He was about to open his mouth and say so, when he found himself pinned against the counter, blinking stupidly in surprise.

"Never call me that," hissed Sirius. The burning passion in his eyes reminded Lupin of a time long past, and the proximity of Sirius' face made his stomach give a strange lurch.

Sirius released him suddenly and he staggered.

"I'm getting rid of this," he said, throwing the wine bottle out of the open window. "And you can have the couch tonight."

He gave Lupin one last look of disgust and stalked out of the room.

Lupin, meanwhile, was leaning on the counter, his heart beating a million miles an hour with only one thought in his clouded mind.

_Oh God, not again…_

Lupin was able to make breakfast the next morning, but only after downing four cups of coffee to take the edge off of his headache. Sirius came downstairs without a word and ate his omelette without looking at him before leaving for the day.

It was just as well. Lupin was horribly ashamed for getting drunk and even more ashamed about his feelings, long buried, that had resurfaced again as strongly as ever.

_You're just a worthless piece of…_

"Mr. Remus! You made omelettes!" Harry's beautiful little-boy voice broke through the wolf's hateful growl and Lupin smiled.

"Yes I did, Harry! With asparagus, bacon, tomato, and feta cheese. You like?"

Harry nodded vigorously, his mouth already full of omelette.

"So what do you want to do today, Harry?" Remus asked when the boy had downed an omelette and a half, and three cups of chocolate milk.

"I want to go to the park. But Da said last night that you liked books so we could go to the library too if you want. But Mr. Remus," Harry said, suddenly solemn, "I would like to hear more stories about my Real Dad and I promise I won't make you laugh this time."

"I'll tell you all the stories you want, Harry," said Lupin tenderly, ruffling the little boy's hair, "but go get dressed first. We should go to the park before it gets too hot."

The next few days passed peacefully enough for Lupin, despite the countdown in the back of his mind telling him there were only two weeks until Harry's birthday, and the fact that Sirius had barely said a word to him. But Lupin was on the lookout for an opportunity and he found it three days after their fight.

Lupin was putting the finishing touches on a salade nicoise when he found Sirius reading in the living room. He hadn't even noticed him come home.

"What are you reading?" he asked, hovering nervously near the doorway.

Sirius looked up at him, startled, and then smiled tentatively.

"R. L. Jessup. Have you ever heard of him?"

Now it was Remus' turn to be startled – could it be that Sirius didn't know…?

"Yes, I've read his books. What do you think of him?"

"The man is bloody brilliant!" exclaimed Sirius with an enthusiasm Lupin hadn't heard directed toward him in years. "I swear, sometimes I think he's in my head. And he really GETS it, you know? What it's like to live in a black hole of despair and not see any way out. I think _He Never Saw me Standing there_ is one of my favorite books ever."

"Mine too, or at least it's my favorite of his. But if he writes that way it's only because he's pretty fucked up."

"Who isn't fucked up, though? If anything, I envy him. At least he's able to pour his misesry onto the page; mine's been devouring me for ten years…"

Lupin felt himself choke up, and he sat down before his knees gave out. Lucky? He had never considered himself lucky. But compared to Sirius Black who carried the condemnation of the wizarding world on his shoulders and had no one to share his burden, maybe he _was _lucky. At least Lupin had freedom, even if freedom came at the exclusion from the world he knew. Sirius was imprisoned – trapped by the charges against him, trapped by his desire to take care of Harry, trapped by the fact that to accomplish his mission and do what was best for his godson he would have to give up the only thing worth living for.

Lupin felt his eyes mist over as in an instant of pure clarity he saw the tragedy of Sirius' future stretch before him.

Before he could think too hard about what he was doing, he pulled Sirius into a tight hug and whispered, "I'm here, Sirius. Tell me or don't tell me, but I'll always be here. Padfoot."

Lupin felt Sirius nod and was surprised when he felt a pair of arms hugging him back. They sat on the couch in a comforting embrace for a long moment until they heard Harry's curious voice.

"Da? Are you okay? And you, Mr. Remus?"

Sirius turned to look at Lupin and his eyes were red and slightly puffy. But he smiled before he turned back to Harry.

"We're fine, Superman. But do us both a favor – call Mr. Remus 'Uncle Moony' from now on, would you? That's always been his name."

And Lupin had to hide his face so that neither would see his tears.

Lupin was still reflecting on the evening's events and trying to get comfortable – Sirius had told him to take the bed tonight – when he heard a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," he said, sitting up. The door opened and Sirius' head peeked around the corner. When he saw Lupin was awake he came in quietly and shut the door behind him. Lupin gelt his heart pounding uncomfortably as Sirius, bare-chested against the heat, sat down on the side of the bed.

"I couldn't sleep," he explained, "budge over,"

Lupin, still dumbstruck, scooted hastily to the other side of the bed as Sirius stretched and sighed comfortably.

"We used to do this all the time," he said, and Lupin detected a hint of reproach in his voice. "What happened?"

"Dunno," said Lupin to the ceiling. "Guess we just grew up and grew apart." _If he had any idea what you were he'd be out of that bed like a bat out of hell…_

"So what are we now? Cuz I don't feel any younger."

Lupin didn't answer, and eventually he heard Sirius sigh and turn onto his back.

"For the last ten years my entire life has been about Harry. I want him to go to the best schools and grow up big and strong and passionate… and I want him to be happy. But most of all, I want him to know his story. How brave and beautiful and wonderful his parents were. How they gave their lives to save not just him but all the wizarding world. And I want him to grow up and honor their memory. To do that, I know he has to leave. He has to leave ma nd go on his own and I might not see him again for years, if ever. What if he goes back to England and learns to hate me? What if he thinks I killed his parents? What if he meets a nice girl and they get married and he forgets all about me?"

Sirius drew a shaky breath and continued.

"No matter what happens, I'll let him go, because my life is worth nothing without him. And even if he hates me or never comes back, I'll keep on living just because one day he might want to see me again. And maybe one day I'll be able to help him out. But if something were to happen to Harry, then I would die."

The silence stretched between them for a long time before Sirius turned to look at Lupin once again.

"Do you think I killed Lily and James?" The question, hesitant and frightened, was barely a whisper.

"Never." Replied Lupin equally quietly but fiercely, and as he said it he realized it was true.

Sirius let out a strangled sound, half sob and half laugh, and slumped back down against the mattress. Lupin saw his silhouette shaking and wondered if he should try and comfort his friend, but when Sirius spoke Lupin realized he was laughing.

"We changed Secret Keepers because we didn't trust you. We didn't trust anyone, really, but someone close to the Potters was feeding them information and we assumed it was you… because you had changed so much and because you always went missing for ages without any explanation. So we suspected you and trusted the rat instead.

"Fucking bastard. You can bet that as soon as we finished the Fidelius charm he went and told Voldemort exactly where the Potters were hiding.

"I'll never forget the moment I came up over that last hill before Godric's Hollow and saw the Dark Mark. That was when I realized that the game was up – that it had never been a game to start with – and that my life was officially blown to pieces.

"I found little Harry in the wreckage of the house with that horrible cut on his forehead and I apparated him then and there to a daycare center in Boston. See, James and I had talke about what we would do if he and Lily were to die. I was to take Harry and leave England, give up magic, and raise Harry as a muggle until Voldemort was destroyed. We had fake papers made, I bought a house in Boston, and I opened a bank account into which I slowly – so as not to arouse suspicion – transferred money from my Gringotts account.

"Once Harry was safe, I came straight back to England and transferred as much muggle money as I could carry. Then I went hunting for rat. I found the fool so quickly, and yet in the end I was the greater fool. Before I could cast a single spell at him he had shouted some cruel nonsense about me murdering _my own brother_, the he cut off his finger, blew up the street, and transformed into a rat. _Damn him to hell and back!_

"I used my wand one last time to apparate to Heathrow. Twenty minutes later I was on an airplane to Boston. I haven't used my wand since – there's a tracking spell on it so that if I cast so much as a warming charm the ministry'll be here in two and a half minutes.

"Harry and I lived in Boston until a few years ago. It was a nice city, and I had a good job with good hours in an accounting firm, but we had to leave in a hurry. See, we were on our way back from the park when I was Dedalus Diggle across the street. He was easy to spot – wore a bright purple bowler and a pair of overalls with nothing underneath – but I couldn't be sure if he'd seen me. I didn't want to take any chances so that very day Harry and I packed all of our things and moved down here. I used the last of my savings to buy a taxi and since then it's been an effort to put food on the table. But Harry likes it here, and not a day goes by that I don't thank the Gods he's here with me and happy.

"There. Now you know my story. And if you think I still deserve it, you can run and tell the ministry and I'll come quietly."

Lupin blinked back tears for the umpteenth time that night. The anguish in Sirius' voice was almost painful to hear.

Lupin searched in the dark until he found Sirius' trembling hand. He squeezed it tightly and stroked it soothingly until he felt the tremors stop and he knew Sirius had fallen asleep. Only then did he let his weary eyes drift closed.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I am SO sorry I haven't updated in so long! I lost my story... oops! But now I've got plenty more chapters to post, and to top it all off, a one-shot I wrote during spring break that I will post when I finish this one. I'm hoping to do one chapter every day or two, to make up for the long delays. I hope you enjoy it! Reviews are always appreciated :)

* * *

><p>Sirius woke up feeling unusually light and peaceful. He was in his bed, which was curious, until he remembered the events of the previous night.<p>

Smiling broadly, he walked downstairs where Lupin, as usual, had breakfast ready.

"Morning, Rem," he said as he plopped into a chair and set about tearing apart the enormous helping of pancakes before him.

"Good morning, Sirius!" said Lupin happily, and Sirius noted absently that his cheeks were the slightest bit pink. "Sleep well?"

Sirius thought for a moment before answering – "I haven't felt this well-rested in ages, to be honest. And this morning, I felt a hundred pounds lighter. Thank you," he said, suddenly serious, looking at Lupin.

"That's what friends are for, Sirius!" replied Lupin, quickly turning back to the pancakes on the stove. "Now, I'm sure you've already thought about it, but we need to figure out what's going on with Harry. His birthday is in two weeks and September first isn't far behind, you know?" Lupin sat across from Sirius and sipped from a giant mug of coffee.

"Well… I"ve already thought of a few things…" Sirius spoke hestitantly – it was hard for him to think of Harry leaving, and harder for him to speak of it.

"But there is one very important thing I've never been able to do. Remus, would you mind telling Harry about the Wizarding world? Tell him everything about Hogwarts and Diagon Alley, and the War. And Lupin… I'll never know if this was the right decision… but Harry has no idea that he's famous. And he doesn't know that he defeated Voldemort. James' biggest flaw was always his ego… I was hoping to weed it out…"

Lupin grinned. "You could have counted on Lily's genes for that, mate! She was the top of our class but I never once heard her brag."

Sirius could practically _feel_ Lily preening inside his head. "Yes, well let's not get too carried away either. Nobody's perfect-" James roared in outrage "—anyway, I have to run. But Rem?" He placed a gentle hand on the other man's shoulder and looked deep into his eyes.

"Thank you for everything."

* * *

><p>The rest of the week passed quickly for Sirius, and for the first time in ten years he felt truly complete. His routine was becoming more than enjoyable, and he savored the time he spent with Harry with renewed zeal, knowing it would not last forever.<p>

Sirius would wake up early enough, shower and get dressed, and then enjoy a delicious breakfast while he and Lupin outlined their plan to send Harry to Hogwarts. He would leave for work as usuall, but with a new peace of mind, knowing that his godson was in really good hands. In the evening he would come home to a succulent meal, play with Harry, and then go to bed. He and Lupin shared the big bed every night, and just like in the old days they would stay up for hours talking about everything and anything – mostly their plans for Harry, but also about memories, shared or apart. The one subject they never broached was the future – what they would do AFTER Harry.

Because Sirius would never admit it, but he didn't want Lupin to leave him.

In spite of a nagging voice in his head – it was neither Lily nor James – who reminded him every night that it was odd for two grown men to share a bed, he liked the company. More than liked it.

He remembered shamefully the night he had woken up at two in the morning and felt Lupin's leg draped across his. While the entire episode had seemed like a dream the next morning, Sirius couldn't deny that the goosebumps and hard-on he had felt at the contact were very real.

But Sirius continued his daily routine, pretending not to notice the way his skin seemed to warm up when Lupin touched him, and ignoring the way he was always looking for excuses to do just that. After all, this was just like last time. Then it had been teenage hormones – now it was ten years of living as a bachelor.

Whenever Sirius began to think too hard about his sleeping situation, he went to find Harry and play games with him or buy him candy. He had always found that being with Harry calmed him down and renewed his sense of purpose. And now as the days ticked down to Harry's birthday he almost felt their time together accelerating as their precious moments slipped away. But when he felt this he resolved again to make the most of their time together.

The time eased by in a gently rhythm unstil six days before Harry's birthday, when Sirius came home to find Lupin pale and panicked, ransacking the house.

"Oh Sirius!" he cried as soon as he disengaged himself from the dusty space between the couch and the wall. "Thank goodness you're home!" He grabbed Sirius by the wrist and pulled him up the stairs itno his room, where he closed the door. Sirius willed his blood to stop heading sourth when he saw the anxious look on Lupin's pale face.

_You old pervert,_ chuckled James lovingly.

"Sirius, when you went and got my suitcase at the Mariott, was there anything unusual about the room?"

"You mean besides the fact that your stuff was thrown all over the place?"

"My stuff was thrown all over the place? Sirius, why didn't you think to tell me this until now?"

"I thought you had left it that way… I thought you might have changed at least a little in ten years!"

"And I thought you had looked through my things for proof of my ministry contacts… Oh Lord," said Lupin, passing a hand over his face. "Did you notice anything else out of the ordinary?"

Sirius thought hard. "There were a lot of empty bottles in the bathroom. A couple alcohol, but most looked like potions flasks…"

Lupin let out a strangled groan and fell back onto the bed. Sirius saw his lips move, but didn't quite catch what he said.

"What's that, Moony?" He sat down on the bed and leaned his ear towards his friend's mouth.

"You'll have to kill me, Sirius."

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Are you out of your MIND? Never Remus, I don't even want to KNOW the crazy justification you thought up in that twisted mind of yours. Just…no."

"Sirius, the full moon is in a week and I have no wolfsbane potion. In a week I'm going to turn into a ravenous, dangerous beast, and there'll be no way to stop it or control me. Neither of us have magic. I'll bite someone and then they'll find me and kill me. Please, Sirius, I'd rather it be you than them!" Lupin was frantic.

"And I'd rather you not die at all," replied Sirius, pulling his friend into a hug, "so here's what we'll do. Night of the full moon, I'll drive us far, far away from the city – to the Pine Barrens. We'll make sure before hand we're not near any campers. Harry'll get a babysitter. We'll both transform and I'll keep you in check, just like the old days. Remember?"

"What I remember," said Lupin, his eyes feverish as he pulled away slightly, "is that it took you AND James to control me. And even then there were some near misses. I can't risk it, Sirius! And what if – God forbid – I went after you! The wolf might not recognize you after all this time. What'll happen to Harry?" Lupin closed his eyes and Sirius saw a perfect crystal tear run down his cheek.

"Rem—Remus," said Sirius gently, placing his hands on either side of the man's face and bringing their foreheads togethers, "look at me." Lupin opened his still-watery eyes and held Sirius' gaze. "Nothing will happen. We'll go camping, you and I. Everything will go smoothly and then we'll all come back here. I'll take the day off and we'll go for a walk in Fairmount Park with Harry. Maybe we'll fly kites. And everything will be fine." Sirius stroked Lupin's hair and smiled. "Got it?"

Lupin nodded slowly, still holding Sirius' gaze. And then Sirius saw – or thought he saw – Lupin's eyes flick downwards for the briefest of seconds. His cheeks reddened and he suppressed a smile as he realize what had caught the man's attention… and he couldn't help but let his own eyes rest on Lupin's lips…

He noticed that he wasn't the only one whose breath had suddenly become shallow and rapid.

"Sirius…" Lupin breathed, and Sirius felt the warm breath on his lips, "Tell me to stop…"

Sirius felt the nagging voice in his head explode and he was about to close the distance between them…

"Da? Uncle Moony? What are you guys doing?"

Sirius sent and inward groan to high Heaven as Lupin sprang back, knocking Sirius back onto the bed, his cheeks aflame.

"I – We – Harry! We were having an adult discussion. N-Nothing to worry about. Are you hungry? Let's eat!" And he nearly ran out of the room. Harry watched him go, perplexed, before turning to his godfather, who was still lying on the bed.

"What was that about, Da? He asked, strolling over.

"You'll understand when you're older," said Sirius with a theatric sigh, "but you, Sir-Blocks-a-Lot! You're in big trouble!" Sirius tackled Harry and began tickling him mercilessly. Harry's screams of laughter and Sirius' booming laugh drifted down the stairs and into the kitchen where Lupin was sitting, face in his hands, trying to regain his composure.

* * *

><p>Dinner that night was a strange one. Sirius was feeling particularly joyful, and he kept shooting goofy smiles at Lupin – who refused to look at him, spoke only in monosyllables, and left to "go out" before the end of the meal.<p>

Sirius didn't think much of it; he and Harry went for a romp around the neighborhood, catching fireflies, and then watched television together with giant bowls of ice cream. After the third episode of Full House, Harry was asleep, curled up against Sirius on the couch, and the ice cream was a sticky puddle on the coffee table.

Sirius carried Harry gently to his bed and planted a kiss on his sleeping godson's forehead before returning to the couch to wait for Lupin. His hopes for that night were running high.

Sirius was not complicated when it came to his heart, which he generally considered to reside somewhere in the area of his crotch. He liked Moony, Moony liked him back. Moony was good to Harry, and he could trust him. Why not celebrate?

Sirius could already envision the scene – Lupin would walk in and see Sirius, a look of joy on his face. Sirius would walk over and pull the man into a hug. At some point their lips would meet and Moony would vow his undying need for sex. The would go upstairs and…

Sirius smiled and closed his eyes as he felt himself respond timidly to the lewd images. He stretched and put down the RL Jessup novel he was pretending to read. Lupin would be home any minute, and then…

The next time Sirius opened his eyes the VCR read 3:34, He frowned and, sitting up, searched for the thumping noise that had awoken him. He stood up, rubbing his eyes and walked toward the front door carefully. There was some sort of scratching sound, accompanied by faint grunts… Sirius' mind immediately conjured up images of bears escaped from the zoo and he wish he had a gun. He put his hand on the door knob and yanked it open, ready to wallop any wild animal with the lamp he clutched in his other hand.

There was a yell, and Sirius barely jumped back in time as a jumble of limbs hit the ground with a "thud" and an "ow!" It took Sirius a moment to figure out what he was looking at – two men, both with their pants around their knees, both looking disheveled. The smell of sex and alcohol made him queasy as he recognized the face at his feet. He didn't even notice as the other man picked up his pants and fled.

"Remus?" he whispered, still refusing to believe his eyes. In lieu of a response, Lupin turned onto his side and vomited generously at Sirius' feet.

* * *

><p>That night was one of the most miserable in Sirius' memory. He half-dragged Lupin up the stairs to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time to catch the next volley of vomit. Then he muscled him into the shower in his boxers and scrubbed bits of puke from Lupin's hair. That being done, he toweled off his half-conscious friend and carried him to the bed.<p>

By this time it was almost five, and even though his body screamed for sleep he trudged downstairs to mop up the puddle of puke in the entrance hall.

At five-thirty in the morning, exhausted, he wrapped himself in a blanket and tried to fall asleep on the floor of his bedroom.

The whole time Sirius had been fighting feelings he knew he shouldn't be having. Feelings of hurt, almost betrayal – Lupin was a free man, he could sleep with whoever he wanted, he tried to reason with himself. But then the image of the tangled bodies resurfaced in his mind and he bit back a new wave of anger.

_They had sex on MY front door!_

The sun was beginning to rise on a stifling July day in Philadelphia when Sirius finally fell into a fitful sleep.


End file.
